WHAT DO I SAY WHEN

Should I tell my daughter she's "obese"? It sounds so scary and negative, but I do want her to be motivated to make a change in her life.

My daughter’s pediatrician took me aside after her check-up and said she was clinically obese. He said this was serious and I really had to get on the bandwagon and encourage her to lose weight. Should I tell my daughter she’s “obese”? It sounds so scary and negative, but I do want her to be motivated to make a change in her life.

by Kathie Jacobson

I would not recommend using the word “obese” nor even talking about the doctor’s conversation.  I would probably not even talk about weight.

What I do recommend is that you work on your household’s food environment.  Keep fresh fruit and vegetables out, washed, and available; keep healthier snack items like low-sugar fruit cups, low-sugar gelatin or pudding cups; and serve meals that emphasize lean meat and vegetables.  Put smaller plates on the table at dinner, or start serving everyone from the stove and immediately (before you eat seconds) put leftovers away.

Also, increase opportunities for natural movement such as involving your daughter in family walks, yard work, walking excursions at the mall, Frisbee, golf, tennis, basketball, bike rides, etc.

And model, model, model. That means act in the ways you want your daughter to act with both food and activity.

And be patient.  Change is a difficult process that often happens in baby steps and takes a while.  Look for tiny changes to reinforce with praise, and avoid harping on the negative behaviors.

  Published May 18, 2010