Teenagers can have very strong emotions. It is part of the developmental cycle that is often very uncomfortable for parents. They laugh louder, cry harder, worry more, and get angry more easily than most adults. Overweight teen girls often harbor lots of anger resulting from feeling out of place in today’s society, which idealizes and glamorizes thinness.
For the most part, anger is a normal teenage emotion, but if she is physically aggressive to you or others, you may want to consider therapy. Even just a consultation with a doctor can help you figure out if there is anything you should worry about.
If it seems like your daughter is perpetually angry with you, it may be because she feels like every conversation is about what she did wrong or didn’t do or could have done better. This is pretty common. Almost every parent thinks, “That’s not me,” but when I ask them to write down and really pay attention to what they say to their teen, they realize they’re guiltier of “negative nagging” than they thought.
Even though there are a thousand things you could remind your child to do, limit talking about these things with your daughter to a couple times a week. Be positive–give compliments, listen and talk to her about her day. This is a huge challenge to some parents, but it’s worth the effort to strengthen the relationship you have with your daughter. It’s the best way to prevent World War III under your roof.
Don’t forget to model good anger management yourself (i.e. Don’t raise your voice, even if she raises hers).
Photo by: Isforinsects
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